I am a huge fan of the culture blog Racialicious, and have a lot on my mind around racial issues. So when Carmen Van Kerckhove of New Demographic announced The Racialicious Experience, a six-week series of discussions on race & diversity, I had to apply immediately.
The application form gave me a great opportunity to clarify my thinking around some of the feelings I have, and why I want to be involved in this experience. Being a UX person means you are constantly putting your own perspective aside and adopting that of your clients, users, and other team members. It’s challenging and I’d be lying if I said I was 100% successful at doing so. But I think that the associated ability to look at an issue from multiple viewpoints and a deep desire to find the sweet spot where everyone’s needs and capabilities intersect bodes well for participation in diversity work.
I’ve copied the text of my application here, and wonder what anyone out there might have to say. When asked why I want to be a part of the discussion series, I said:
“At the most basic level, I just want to create more real friendships with people of color. I know how naive that sounds, but stay with me.
I believe there are some big, unnecessary barriers on the white side of racial issues that can be overcome. I’m not talking about converting overt racists…that’s beyond my goal. I don’t know how to deal with people who hold real hatred in their hearts, who are products of generations of perceived racial superiority and unperceived ignorance. And I don’t mean apologism, either…as a white liberal, I’ve found that to be ego-driven and insincere and rarely followed up with real personal change. Lots of talk, too little walk.
I mean that there are a lot of white people who have a real desire to break through racial social barriers, who are, for the lack of a better term, ripe to open our worlds up and see about changing the socially segregated lifestyles most of us live, but we lack the tools and perspective we need to do so.
It’s all about handling fear - fear of social awkwardness, fear of being perceived as racist, fear of being the object of ridicule, fear of having to bear the weight of a history we can’t relate to, fear of offending anyone, fear of being too apologetic, fear of being too insensitive, fear of being too earnest, fear of being the object of anger, fear of physical harm, fear of being wrong, fear of being responsible.
Just as many POC don’t want to be burdened with the ambassadorship of all things POC to white people, so white people are afraid, and indeed, incapable, of representing all things white to POC, either. No white people know what being “white” means because except for supremacists, we do not build our identities around our colors. It makes us defensive to be defined as white because it is such an indistinct cultural identity, and yet we don’t really understand POC feelings about being defined by their color, either.
Even such an obvious concept as white privilege is irrationally threatening because white people don’t usually equate their struggles or successes with being white, and lack the framework for applying it to their own experience without accepting a tremendous amount of guilt, and that’s a responsibility that we don’t know how to deal with and often feel resentful for having put on us.
I lived in neighborhoods that are superficially racially diverse in what is purported to be one of the most open, tolerant places in the US for most of my life - but in reality, it’s like we live in parallel dimensions that don’t really meet. No one, not POC nor white people, wants to deal with the subtle and overt negativity we are confronted with from all sides when we stray outside of our usual company.
I want to see how I and other white people can help effectively bring communication and interaction to a personal level without neglecting to understand the context of who we all are, what’s shaped our thinking, and what drives our feelings. I’m not an academic, and have no interest in keeping this a wholly intellectual pursuit. I think the only way to make this work is to put myself out there, actively listen, and get to know more POC who are willing to be awkward with me.”